Ran­dom Something Awful Jokes:

Two fish are in a tank.
One turns to the other and says ‘Hey, how do you drive this thing?’

More sexist fun on Inter­na­tio­nal Women’s day:
Three blon­des were trap­ped on an island. During their explo­ra­tion of the island, one of them stum­bles across a lamp. So she rubs it and a genie pops out. “I will give you one wish each.” said the genie.

So the first blonde asks to be 10% smar­ter so she can work out a way off the island. So the genie turns her into a redhead and she swims off the island.

The second blonde asks to be 20% smar­ter. So the genie turns her into bru­nette and she builds a raft out of logs and vines and sails off the island.

The last blonde goes all out and asks to be 100% smar­ter. So the genie tur­ned her into a man and he cros­sed the bridge.

Click the link for more ran­dom jokes.

Saul is wor­king in his store when he hears a boo­ming voice from above: “Saul, sell your busi­ness.“
He igno­res it. It goes on for days. “Saul, sell your busi­ness for $3 million.” So he sells his store. The voice says “Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas.” He obeys, goes to a casino.

The Voice says, “Saul , go to the black­jack table and put it down all on one hand.” He hesi­ta­tes but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dea­ler has a six sho­wing.
“Saul, take a card.”
“What? The dea­ler has –”
“Take a card!“
He tells the dea­ler to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nine­teen. He breathes easy.
“Saul, take another card.”
“What?!?”
“TAKE ANOTHER CARD!“
He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty.
“Saul, take another card,” the voice com­mands.
“I have twenty!” Saul shouts.
“TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!” booms the voice.
“Hit me”,Saul says sha­kily.
He gets another ace. Twenty one.
The boo­ming voice goes: “Un-fucking-believable!”