As with our trip to Sozopol, Bulgaria, I’m taking a quick moment out of a few days to recant our recent tails. Those lucky enough to find this rare and valuable hard copy will note the delightful Molyvos image on the front of this book.

Rewinding to last Wednesday, I left the office amidst a flurry of work for two weeks, lugging my suitcase behind. In West Ewell, after crossing London, we ate Sam’s risotto of “things left in the fridge”, I watched Man Utd nervously and luckily win the Champions League against Chelsea whilst Sam hurriedly tried to remember all the things she might forget. Come 3:45am, the serenade of my phone alarm assaults us and throws us out of bed, diving into suitcases to triple check our tickets and passports. – before being whisked to Gatwick by Sam’s mum for our 7:00am flight to Mitilene, the Lesbos capital, via First Choice airlines. We booked the holiday and flights through First Choice two months in advance for £850, choosing to stay at the Sun Rise Hotel, next to Molyvos, in North Lesbos.

I shall not get into our laborious process of deciding which island/resort to visit in Greece, but we decided on Lesbos for its vegetation, size, relatively ow tourism, direct flights and culture. The Sun Rise Hotel was also highly rated on Trip Advisor (other candidates were the Olive Press Hotel (too noisy), The Sea Horse (no pool) and a couple of others (Petra, Anaxos, too far from the beautiful Molyvos).

On landing we discarded our jumpers, breathed in the hot air and set about across the mountainous terrain of Lesbos, via taxi, to the north of the island – about an hours drive, at a speedy pace with horn honking at junctions and overtaking of one handed motorcyclists that were texting on their phones. We checked in and proceeded up the 100-odd steps to our room, with a glorious North Lesvos sea view, and Turkey clear in our sights over the water. The room is nice, excellent for sleeping and looking after our clothes, which is all we need it for. The Sun Rise Hotel offers a full and half board food service, we got the breakfasts but opted out of the evening meals – we like our restaurants! A good choice considering their food is over priced and not very good (we sampled a chicken a la creme, a tuna salad and a burger on our first day – though not again since – Sam also made the Chicken Creme mistake in Sozopol).

I’m currently sitting by their pool, basking in the hot sun, as I write this – it looks so refreshing and the sound of the water fountain is soothing. Every now and then a House Martin swoops down to take a quick drink. Sam’s reading her book “The Lollipop Shoes” and her sun burn has mostly gone down, though I am sure it will quickly return. I am reading Mark Danielewski’s “House of Leaves“. We’ve played some table tennis but hand to eye co-ordination isn’t Sam’s strong point.

On our first day we ate our cheese, egg and tomato breakfast rolls, drunk the odd tasting tea and took the SRH courtesy bus down to Molyvos. It’s a small coastal town built against a towering rock with castle atop. The roads are thin, cobbled up’n'down affairs, navigated by the locals on their mopeds and bikes. The central streets are lined with small but cute touristy shops, restaurants with balconies and expensive clothes shops – each of which Sam has thoroughly explored. At the bottom lies the small port and all the highly rated places to eat, with their freshly caught wild fish. There are also cats – everywhere! We met two northern English couples here fishing with a small line they had bought, using bread to catch small fish and octopi.

Between 1pm and 5pm the heat is unbearable and most shops shut for their siesta. We headed back to the hotel on the 3pm courtesy bus (at 3:45, it doesn’t turn up unless you go into the BEST car rental/bar next to the stop and ask for the bus to come – the place is run by the same family). In waiting we met a lovely family that tipped us off about a nice little pizzeria round the corner from SRH, “Fantastico”. Escaping the confines of our hotel foods we enjoyed Pizza and intoxicating house wines down towards Eftalou Hotel at the aforementioned. A nice cherry brandy on the house tipped Sam over the tipsy boat before we staggered home.

Saturday tooks us on a 40 min walk towards Eftalou’s hot water springs via pebbly beaches, hot unshaded roads, poppies and lizards basking. Too sun burnt for the springs we dabbled our feet in the cold sea and made games with the rocks.

After cooling down in the pool, now a common practice, we walked into Molyvos (20-40mins) for a meal at The Captain’s Table, a place run by English speaking Melinda and family. We’d read that their Mezes and Fish were particularly tasty and everyone has spoken very highly of them. Here I sampled the cloudy white Ouzo, spicy aubergines, Tabouleh (a cracked wheat dish), salted Anchovies (perfect with Ouzo), salted uncooked swordfish, “Grandma’s Cheese Pie”, grilled octopus, home-made chips and lettuce salad ~€43. We plan to return for some fresh fish. We stopped for some cocktails at Molly’s bar (another recommended place), drawn in by the awful sounds of the Eurovision song contest. A black russian, pina colada, strawberry daquiris and weird green thing with ice cream later and the room was buzzing with international cheers and boos as songs played and the votes came in. Not the same without Wogan but the zealous laughter and insults more than made up.

Everyone here on Lesbos is very open, talkative and friendly. You can go and speak to anyone and they’ll be happy to engage with you. Everything is incredibly welcoming – there’s banter between tables at restaurants and friendly chatter everywhere between strangers. It’s very easy to make friends and feel like part of something bigger – whether its the Greek native or the holiday atmosphere, this place brings out the best.

Needless to say, we got home at 2am, thoroughly sloshed. Sunday became a tiring shopping trip with a quest for sun-block, hats and shoes. We ate at Betty’s for lunch, sharing a pork Kleftiko with some giant white beans. Sam also discovered a taste for iced tea, I drank one of only four beers available on the island – Amstel. A charming place on the hill with overlooking balcony.

After a nap under a tree near the Olive Press, and a dip in the pool, it was back to Fantastico for a shared Pizza and cheap night out.

Monday brought the start of the local bus service from Eftalou through to Anaxos for only €1.40. With this we headed to Petra, the beachy tourist trap – I haggled for a hat and Sam for some olive decorated pottery. In the heat we climbed the central rock and the church at the top. After coming back down, we walked through the back streets of the town, heading back to the centre via a beach-side walk, hilariously ending with Sam’s shoes falling unceremoniously into the Sea right as we decided to head back to the road. For lunch we had fresh bread, salami and cinammon doughnuts. There’s not a lot to do in Petra, other than sunbathe and shop for post cards, and maybe ride a pedalo. So we took the bus back to Molyvos for the evening – despite Sam’s desire to go to an obscure “Greek night” which offered a set meal, somewhere on the edge of Petra.

Sam’s printed restaurant review pack took us in search of The Galley which was famed for its Moussaka – inquiring at Molly’s it seems like it no longer exists – so they recommended “Le Grand Bleu”. Here we went for stuffed Zucchini flowers and two portions of Moussaka, with a litre of house wine as refreshment. We stumbled happily home. There’s a peculiar feeling to an out door restaurant with a small road running through it – with mopeds, cats and dogs alike.

Today is Tuesday, our day off by the pool, which started with a sweaty stroll around the hill we sit atop of, with more pebbly beaches, humming bird hawk moths, unfinished houses, the odd lush villa and the hot hot sun. With Sam’s kiss it’s time to wrap this up for now – not a cloud above us.

***

It is Sunday now and we are back by the pool in a much busier hotel. Tuesday’s plan was a romantic starlight cruise round the North West bay, on arrival we found that, much to our disappointment, although advertised, it did not run “this early in the season” – not enough people. At a loss we wandered the harbour watching schools of fish in the clear water beneath us. Into the harbour cmae a small boat advertising personal trips for a maximum of 4 persons – running to grap the captain, Stradis, Sam found that he offered a 1-2 hour trip at €60.

With a prospect of a night time boat ride the next night we happily settled for our second meal at The Captain’s Table, looking for some fresh fish! On showing our interest, Melinda invited us into the kitchen to peruse the fresh fish they had – taking them out of the ice box one by one explaining taste, type, bones and price. The Hate and Sea Bream took our fancy, and after Sam’s anxiety over bones, her’s came pre-filleted, both with head and tail still attached. Delicious! Next to us were a couple from our hotel, with a lovely looking Captains Platter. We chatted over complimentary Ouzo before having a lift home from our new friends.

Wednesday brought an early start, at breakfast for 7:30, in taxi at 8:10, we headed to Petra to begin the first of three walks as outlined in “Walks in North Lesvos” by Lance Chilton. For something easy to begin with, we took the 30 – 45 min walk to Anaxos around the coast, along Petra’s main road, round the waterline past seaweed mounds, a mooring place and rocks to scramble over, we reached Anaxos with relative ease. On discovery that Anaxos is nothing more than a taverna/hotel filled tourist trap for sun worshipers, we opted for the second walk, round a dirt track in the hills to the secluded beach of Ambelia, about an hours walk. The temperature was rising, but the route offered some shade and it was just bearable for Sam. After some trouble finding the start of the trail, our walk took us to a wonderful view of the beach and the high up village of Skoutaros, then winding down across a small river and finally to the south end of the sandy beach. A single Taverna, “George’s” gave us our much needed refreshment and toilet stop. Here we found a riverbed filled with Terrapin’s which fought over chunks of our crusty bread.

We ate our salami and bread lunch in a shaded alcove at the end of the bay, throwing remains to the ever grateful fish. Our return route, the third walk, took us up and over the cliffs, the coastal path. Glorious views of cliffs covered in “Yellow everlasting”, Poppies and clear blue sea’s below came at the cost of no shade and the odd thorny encounter plus some beastly hornets, as well as passing one man and his reluctant horse in tow. Taking this route in the height of the day did not prove to be the best idea, we missed our bus and were left utterly parched and sun-roasted in the terrible Anaxos. We were saved by a lady named Alison, pointing us towards a pool and some refreshments where we cooled off for an hour or two, with countless applications of moisturizer and sun lotion.

After the bus home, tired and headached, we opted to postpone the boat trip and headed for the recommended Eftalou Restaurant. From our hotel to the restaurant at the pebbly beach we were accompanied by a charming little dog. Amongst numerous cats and denied food requests (”we don’t have that – try this…”) we ate the fish of the day and a fresh tuna steak, with complimentary Watermelon for dessert. Whilst its hard to pinpoint anything bad, we left very disappointed with the place. Perhaps it was the selection of food on offer (Zucchini pie advertised but not available) or the misunderstanding over fish of the day not gilt headed bream as it appeared, but the unexciting Cod, who knows. Despite the mediocrity we left with high spirits.

Thursday was another day spent by the pool, saying goodbye to friends we made in the week, preparing for the inevitable Thursday changeover that takes back the Brits and brings in the fresh ones. Our hotel was getting ready for full capacity, from 80 to 190 guests. It was sad to see everyone go, the couples and the families, and we chatted in the sun by the pool until 4pm when their coach departed, with pork Souvlakis from Fantastico in between.

With all the old English gone and the new not yet acquainted, Molyvos was very quiet on Thursday night – as we headed to the harbour for our boat trip. Unfortunately, today the wind had picked up to coincide with hotter temperatures (33C), making the sea too choppy for a romantic night on a small boat for 2. With banana and watermelon ice creams we pondered the cost, when a slightly larger 10 person glass bottomed boat docked. Through Sam’s sprint for the captain and inquisitive nature we bagged a discounted €15 each trip around Petra and Rabbit island with dinner including, ditching Stradis and his smaller boat – which we felt bad about but concluded tha he would not have taken us out in the wind. The larger boat cut through the waves much easier and the greek music played as our captain Alex took us to a mooring place on Rabbit island, via some underwater reefs viewed through the bottom. The thousands of nesting gulls on the island were not best pleased to see us as we headed to the top they squawked and began to dive at us, “WHOOSH” over my head, needless to say we were out of there quickly, back on the boat for the prepared barbecue. Our return took us via Petra, watching the red sunset quickly descent into the haze of the horizon.

Back in Molyvos, not quite sated, we hunted down Tropicana and “The Square”, higher up in the town, towards the harbour, an area not yet explored. Despite its generic name, Tropicana gave us a delightful greek salad with well priced Mythos and ‘concocted from two drinks’ Orangeade.

Friday became Car Rental Day, we looked at BEST, Avis and Hertz. Avis gave us the best deal, a yellow Hyundai Alto for €32 a day, with full insurance covered by First Choice, compared to €47 from BEST. I nail-bitingly aided Sam in her wrong-side of the road endeavour, reminding that we are now driving on the right and that the steering wheel should be in the middle of the road.

After trying out the roads we knew, we bravely headed through the winding, perilous mountain roads for Kalloni and Sakala Kalloni. Taking it slow and letting others overtake where we could, we made it to the bustling town, second largest in Lesbos, Kalloni. A lot of the Greek cheeriness appeared to have escaped this busy, functioning locale. With a stroll, a stop at a fine hidden bakery, supermarket stop for some feta cheese and salami and getting lost in the sun and streets, we escaped southwards for Skala Kallonis, missing the turn and carrying along to a very quiet, sandy beach just before Parakila. The only others there were locals, the parasols were free and the taverna cheap. The Kalloni gulf is ridiculously salty, giving us an enjoyable extra buoyancy in our sea side swimming. The sand fell away to a decent depth quickly, with the bonus of clear water for watching the large fish, crabs and hermits that nestled and nibbled at our toes unafraid.

After 4 hours the school kids were out, splashing loudly they engulfed the beach so we returned back to the car and onwards to Skala Kallonis correctly this time. Upon parking, a very British club-going sort of fella that now lived on the island explained and divulged the secret wonders of the moths and caterpillars, as long swirling, squiggly things rained on us from the trees above. The famed migratory birds had long gone, to my disappointment. Rather than eating at Medusa which we finally found, amongst a fisherman clubbing an octopus, we drove home before nightfall, with a small detour to Agia Paraskevi in search of Apollo’s temple.

Sam’s fear of heights really kicked in on the return leg, we made safe but slow progress. Congratulating Sam on a job well done, something she was clearly very nervous about doing, we returned the car (I had a small scooter trip), and had a full meal of Beef Goulash and Stifado at Tropicana, with their speciality salad and feta stuffed peppers. Stuffed, happy and relieved, we slept soundly.

***

Saturday brought another early morning to this holiday, the Wild West coach excusrion around North West Lesvos, pickup at 8:15am. For €33 each we were to explore the area of Limonos, the village Vatoussa, the Petrified Forest and Skala Eressos. Another young couple from our hotel were on the tour with us, they flew in on Thursday and we shared with them our tips. The large air conditioned coach and charismatic guide Ismini greeted us and we were off, through Petra and Anaxos for more pickups, speedily along the tight mountain roads, winding around, horns blown at corners, rip-roaring around the hair pins with the spoken histories of Petra and Anaxos being explained to us, down towards Skala Kallonis where we were yesterday, for the last pickup. Then back up to Limonos Monastery, largest of the island, with a father superior and two monks.

The area is surrounded with small church like monuments, paid for by families as dedications to lost loved ones. The monastery is in a yard with with walled protection in the form of Monk’s cells and a small family of Peacocks. We opted out of the little Byzantine museum, instead wandering the court-yards. An old ruling prevents women from entering the monastery itself (”to stop temptation”). so I went in alone – the walls, ceilings and coves were all elaborately decorated, one depiction of a shark teethed individual being jested by an angel sticks in my mind. No pictures allowed.

Leaving here, sticking to our rigid time constraints, we travelled to Vatoussa which exists within the crater of a dormant volcano, via Filia and Anemotia, stopping for some local Baclava then whisked away again, before we could catch our breath, to the petrified forest. This lies past the high up, mountain perched Ipsilou monastery, overlooking the island – you can see Molyvos in the distance from here. The roads became more perilous, steep, unprotected drops as the coach roars onwards as fast as possible. The petrified forest, a collection of fossilized trees, is amongst the most barren of landscapes, almost moon like – the hottest part of the tour at the hottest time of the day. The largest trees have been uncovered, sparsely populating the park, protected with frail wooden fences, tourists are urged not to touch, but do so anyway. Smaller “tree-rocks” remain unearthed, fragments scattered about the place, some even jutting out of dirt paths. Some shade, a coke and it’s back on the bus and down to Skala Eressos, birthplace of Sappho. On our travels here we were lucky enough to see a Black Stork.

A 2 hour stop brought us some Mezes at the Aegean in the square; fried zucchini, aubergine dip, fries and some feta – just right. By the time we were done, 4:30 had come and the coach was leaving once more, giving us no time to explore the church or the beach. Although a tourist resort it has more character and flavour than Petra offers. Time to head home on a 2 hour round trip, expertly through Messotopos, Agra, passed the entrance to the bay and Parakila, then up through the hills and Kalloni once more. Although interesting, the weariness, driving, constant turning, up and down and heat were incredibly nauseating. Whilst we did a lot, saw a lot and learned a lot, it was not the most enjoyable of days given the sickness and time constraints. If you are a confident drives its probably better to buy a guide and drive yourself.

Home by 6:30pm and despite exhaustion, we went for the evening to a small taverna, triangular shaped at the cross roads between Molyvos and Eftalou, for their “Greek Night” with live music accompaniment. The loud music played and the menu appeared promising – we made our choices; stuffed peppers and lamb kleftiko. They had neither, five iterations later (no potato salad, meatballs or stews) it appeared they had none of the food on their menu. In the meantime the music became piercingly loud, headache inducing with constant feedback from the singer, and those next to us lit up their cigs, smoke blowing in our faces. We should have left, but they had my last choice, a burger, and we decided to judge them on their food – a mistake. After taking what felt like an eternity our food was cold, partly cooked and disgusting; a congealed lamb sauce with no flavour, hard rice, soggy chips and all at an expensive price. Going against my principles we fed the waiting cats, they didn’t like it much either. As we were served our complimentary desserts/drink we paid and left. DO NOT GO HERE. To recover our evening we had ice creams in the harbour (mocha/chocolate! mmm), meeting an equally unhappy couple in the process, with whom we proceeded to bitch. On the bus home we overheard others praising the place; I cannot think how or why.

***

It is now Thursday afternoon and I have been torn from the luscious pool to return home to England, with a one hour coach trip across Lesbos to Mitilene then a flight to Gatwick, London. The flight crew are handing out headphones for the in flight movie, “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” whilst the islands pass away beneath us on the Aegean sea.

Sunday was a designated pool day – time to read our books, practice our various swimming techniques and generally chillax. Tanned, but mostly red, after a late Hawaiian pizza from Fantastico, we wandered down into Molyvos for the evening. Still rather saited, we aimlessly shopped, pondered and considered a meal – even sitting down at the harbour’s “Octopus” restaurant, before leaving because we weren’t hungry. Our evening was saved by the couple from the tour, Mia and James.

Flagged down as we passed them at “Cafe Pirate”, we ate with them at the corner of Market Street, next to the butchers – ordering a selection of Mezes (stuffed vine leaves, tuna crepe) and a large carafe of wine. After talk of jobs in Jamaica and Iraq, Baklava in Montreal and perfectly made coffee, flash floods in Montpelier and some talk about ourselves, we devoured our complimentary walnut baklava and stumbled down to Molly’s for cocktails above the harbour. Tequila sunrises, Black Russians, Alfas, etc. and so on – we left drunk enough to almost forget bags, staggering along cobbled streets down to the taxi rank. “Your donkey doesn’t have enough shade”, we read aloud to the taxi driver; a note left pegged to his fence. Back at the hotel, tomorrow was here, our heads were spinning and our beds enveloped us for what remained of the night.

Stirring at 9:30am, just making Monday’s breakfast (cheese, scrambled egg, tomato, bacon roll, grapefruit juice and now black tea because the milk tastes funny), we postponed the planned coastal walk – instead we chose a hangover recovery procedure, consisting of painkillers and sleep. Avoiding another day by the pool, it was time for Sam’s holiday shopping spree in Lolyvos. But not before a couple of lunch time Gyros from the little “Friends” takeaway and a swim in the noisy Olive Press hotel pool. Sipping mango juice on the promenade wall, house martins on power lines above me, I left Samantha to gather olive oil and ornaments; I instead attempted to catch fish using bread, salami and a small line I purchased – unsuccessfully I might add.

Not wanting to be disappointed by unavailable menu items, dinner at “The Octopus” came early – it’s the distinctive building on the corner in the harbour with the red shutters on its windows; sitting down to a pretty table for two beneath the parasols. AT LAST we found a place that offered AND had Zucchini pie, a delicious one to boot, with it we ate Taramasalata and crinkle cut chips. For mains we shared fresh red mullet, chosen from inside at €50 per kg, consuming five between us. Although Sam’s ongoing gut troubles / illness meant she couldn’t enjoy these to the fullest. So much so we paid a visit to the pharmacist on the way home, for advice and medicines.

* Looks like in-flight lunch is coming *

Properly prepped with an early night, Tuesday brought us into the day fresh and alive enough to attempt the coastal walk to Skala Sikiminea, home of the Mermaid Madonna, via Eftalou. We set out early to avoid the afternoon heats, confronting the blustery coastal winds at 9:00am. At the hot springs a kind dutch lady pointed us towards a dirt track, pointing out that the beach path would be impassable because the tide was in.

As expected, the road is long and winding, dipping in land for swooping corners, sliding up and down as the coastal terrain changes – the walk is about 3 hours from Molyvos, affording the occasional chance to get a closer look at the flora and fauna, birds and the bees. Halfway along there is a small taverna for drinks – at which Sam unwisely decided was the time to satisfy her English-Black tea fix; instead she received an obscure Cinnamon/lemon and very weak concoction – “eugh”, I did warn her. We ended up sharing a bottle of coke.

Shortly thereafter, with some further up and downs, we reached the very small coastal village of Skala Sikiminea. Three tavernas (with parrot, lobster tanks and kittens in trees), two tourist shops selling jewelry, a small harbour and a church sitting on a small rocky outcrop. This church is meant to contain a depiction of the Virgin Mary as a mermaid – either it was hidden away or not there, but we couldn’t find it. For lunch we had the mixed warm mezes from “The Cuckoo Nest” which included bourekakia and tzatziki.

By the afternoon it was too hot to walk back, and expensive for a taxi – our aim was to hitch a boat ride back to Molyvos. Luckily for us, the charismatic and welcoming Captain Alex came to the rescue. By chance he was there to pick up a large group of Dutch tourists that had just happened to follow us on our walk; with space for two more on the boxes at the back of his glass bottomed boat, we hitched a ride for €10 each. Excellent. With Greek music playing we basked in the sun as we passed the sights again, sharing almond biscuits courtesy of Alex. In Molyvos we ate ice cream and walked back to our pool.

The evening brought us back to The Captain’s table, for house wine, spicy fried aubergine, olives and a Captain’s platter for two. Although Sam ended up with white wine spilt down her dress (which led to a courtesy glass and free Cinnamon dessert, on top of Ouzo and small jelly cubes). This was a beautiful evening with a fabulous meal – the calamari was divine, which we ate with Mackerel, Bream, Saddled Bream and a fish that sounded like “melina”, as part of the platter. Our unexpected dessert was the best we had eaten all holiday. Despite having one day left, this became our unofficial last romantic night in lesbos – we decided we couldn’t top it. We caught the bus back to the Sun Rise Hotel after a short chat with “Gomez”, the waiter neat the bus stop; we said our goodbyes and rode home to our room.

Wednesday seemed like a spare day, we’d achieved most of what we wanted to do, time to mop up the loose ends as it were. Sam paid a trip to the hot hot Eftalou springs with dips interspersed with a cooling sea swim – I plowed through 100 pages of my book. A word of warning – avoid the eateries here, we were subject to high prices and arrogant waiters, the food was equally horrid. To reset my pallet I swiftly purchased some delightful home made Baclava from the Women’s agricultural co-operative of Mithymna, and Fantastico provided another tasty tasty pork souvlaki – we just couldn’t get enough of them, they made a perfect lunch time snack.

Without wishing to taint our last evening, we chose a safe option on our last night – Lamb kleftiko and beef stifado from Tropicana, this time with a rose wine at Sam’s request. The friendly neighbourhood diners shared with us their stories of walks, snakes and visits to Petri. As our chairs wobbled on the cobbled floor, the debonair head waiter shared stories and engaged with everyone and the cute black and white dog made its hunger rounds amidst all the cats, we prepared to say goodbye to Lesbos. Waving goodbye with some night time photography and squinting to see the flashing light emitted from Ipsilou, miles away to the West.

We’re just crossing the English Channel now, and our ears are popping with the descent, and it seems a just place to wrap this up. I haven’t spoken much of today, a bus ride, a meal at a Taverna in Mitiline, nothing special.

That’s it then. Goodbye Lesbos and all the wonderful people there. Gomez, the Fantastico men, Stradis, Alex, the breakfast waiters, friendly English tourists, Molly’s bar, the helpful Avis man, Melinda and Co., the jester like waiter at Tropicana, the cats, the dogs, the house martins and bugs. The end.