A Rosy Outlook

The sum­mer has been lar­gely une­vent­ful. When peo­ple ask what I did I will have to reply with resoun­ding silence. Then I shall lis­ten to all the fabu­lous and ama­zing achie­ve­ments, deve­lop­ments and expe­rien­ces they have enjo­yed.

Recently I was sit­ting back and trying to rack my brains around a new site I could deve­lop, so I could do something with my free time. I hadn’t made a site about anything I was pas­sio­nate about for a long time. Then it struck me, what am I pas­sio­nate about? There’s nothing I am par­ti­cu­larly obses­sed with, nothing overtly inte­rests me and I see nothing that fas­ci­na­tes me enough to go out of my way and pur­sue it. Sure I have inte­rests but there’s not one thing that I can say “yeah my life is dedi­ca­ted to doing that”. 

I get sud­den spouts where I feel I must be crea­tive, write about something, design something, or do something cle­ver. But there’s just no something. I’ll sit at a can­vas and then leave it. I greatly enjoy music and it fas­ci­na­tes me to no end, I do obses­si­vely lis­ten to a lot of odd and enligh­te­ning stuff. So why not pur­sue that? Well I have abso­lu­tely no musi­cal talent which rules out all crea­tive aspects. 

Maybe I just lack con­vic­tion, maybe I will find something or maybe I will fore­ver remain a sub­ject­less cri­tic with an empty gallery of my great short­co­mings. Perhaps society has just delu­ded me into a down­ward spi­ral of con­vo­lu­ting bore­dom, or you could say I was pas­sing the buck. I’ll get over it.