School of Rock

I watched this with my neigh­bour a few weeks ago. I know it is meant to be a sort of kids film with a pretty basic plot, I went in kno­wing this. That said, I figu­red I would out­line my plot pre­dic­tion for the movie when it star­ted, to my horror my pre­dic­tion was spot on, everything I had said held true. I know this is meant to be a kids movie, but that’s not gonna stop me rip­ping the shit out of it.

I should state that if I can see how the wri­ters are struc­tu­ring the next comedy ele­ment, I’m not going to laugh. It is the equi­va­lent of them telling me “We are going to make you laugh in a moment, and here is how…”. The film was ridd­led with pre­dic­ta­ble jokes and humor ele­ments. This movie was far too pre­dic­ta­ble, it was a rehashed Sis­ter Act 2 for­mula minus the good heart, the enter­tai­ning kids and the comic genius of Whoopi Gold­berg. It’s not as if they went so far as to pro­vide an inte­res­ting cha­rac­ter. They are all gene­ric ste­reoty­pi­cal children/teachers/house mates/parents, the prissy know it all girl, the oppres­sive father, the wuss boy­friend and his hyped up mega bitch girl­friend. Each one anno­ying in their own uno­ri­gi­nal uni­que way. 

Jack Black, who I have only really ever liked in High Fide­lity, was a mas­sive disap­point­ment as per usual — his no brai­ned antics were not only anno­ying but also com­ple­tely ridi­cu­lous. The notion that teaching a group of well edu­ca­ted do-gooder kids how to per­form in a rock con­cert in sec­ret within a limi­ted time period is absurd in itself. These kids would recog­nise him as the flunky he his and report him, it is insul­ting to inte­lli­gent kids everywhere that these top level child pro­te­ges fall for this hook line and sin­ker. And even if they couldn’t, the prin­ci­pal would have chec­ked up on this ‘dodgy new­co­mer’ more often, cross refe­ren­ced him and asked for a photo id. Other­wise it’s slightly scary that any pae­dophile could get a job like that and start enjo­ying his free time with fee paying little girls.. The irony of this idio­tic waste of a human being surroun­ded by these 140 IQ ave­rage kids is stu­pen­dous and calls for Office like comedy, it is crin­ge­worthy and requi­res the influence of Ricky Ger­vais for comedy effect. But the fact that all these chil­dren are taking this man seriously just sic­kens me. To add insult to injury, if you’re in a band that is con­sis­tantly trying to make it, trying to break free from the local scene and at least get a follo­wing; this movie is an insult to all things you have tried. It sug­gests that it is easy to make music peo­ple enjoy, it is easy to get a sell out gig and it is easy to get a crowd chee­ring your name (which, con­si­de­ring the crowd that would be pre­sent at a local battle of the bands, would be unli­kely). It angers me to see decent bands strug­gle and this atro­cious movie laugh at them in their ignorance

I’m all for a good kids movie, but when the morals it teaches and the cha­rac­ters it por­trays are lac­king and the les­sons to be taught are all ‘phony’ ones, I don’t. I love my rock music but I can’t stand all that rock-save-the-world all that mat­ters is rock piss-ass atti­tude towards it. STICK IT TO THE MAN.